I've been a lot of places (mentally and emotionally) in the past and I've come along way. I celebrate openness and communication particularly towards mental health, sexuality, equality and spirituality. And animals are adorable...
Relationships are weird. People surprise me sometimes, come out of nowhere and say, hey look at me! I’m awesome and you had no idea you were even looking for me!
Relationships are weird. Friendships are weird. In my life where sexuality appears to be so fluid, how do you tell where someone’s friendly behavior is hoping for more? How do you tell when you’re not sure of your own intentions?
what do I do?
I’m in a relationship, and I really care about him, but some days I wonder if he gives a rat’s ass about me.
I could talk for an hour about something really important to me and at the end of it I’m lucky if I get an ‘okay.’ I don’t get anything in return. I want more. I deserve more.
And when I talk to him about how I feel he clearly has something to say, is usually exasperated by my incessant need to talk or change things, but never says anything. Just says ‘okay.’
How is this supposed to work, how are we supposed to build a future together when, from what I see and what he talks about, he doesn’t think beyond today?
dr oz detox
lots of fiber
I work at a nice restaurant and last night we had a wine dinner. Guests reserved a limited number of spots for an Italian wine dinner with five courses and five wines (see picture below for menu). These are things that aren’t available on a daily basis, they were brought in and prepared specifically for this event.
Because of this, I tasted a little bit of some things (what I could since I’m gluten intolerant): Jerusalem artichokes, pastry crème and the Moscato. Not supposed to have sugar or alcohol, I know…. I had a tiny tiny bite of the crème and a sip of the Moscato, until the moscato was so effing bomb that I had a whole glass. Oops.
I didn’t feel that bad. It’s important to me that I try once in a lifetime things, and a really nice moscato during a fancy dinner… Yup.
But today, I’ve got a headache and I feel really blah. I’m exhausted and emotionally drained, feeling really empty and lacking self confidence. Awesome. It’s real nice to know that my body, frankly, can’t handle the sugars. I’m a sugar addict. I love sugar. But it makes me feel like crap physically, mentally and emotionally.
Although I have lost 3.5 pounds in one week without changing anything other than diet.
dr oz detox
Today I feel really really blah. I feel rundown, irritable and emotional. I don’t want to be around anyone, I don’t want to talk to anyone. All I want to do is eat, which I can’t.
I have enough perspective to know I only want food because I’m so used to using food as a coping mechanism, to make me feel better. I’m not hungry, I’ve eaten plenty today. I’ve still stuck to the cleanse. Today isn’t quite as hard as day 3 in terms of food, but mentally I don’t have much in the tank.
dr oz detox
I accidentally cheated a bit last night. I’m not supposed to have alcohol or sugar on the cleanse… I work at a restaurant and we have a new wine. It wasn’t until after I tasted it and could feel the sugars coursing through my veins did I realize I maybe should have waited.
I had a small headache this morning, but I’m off to work now without the pressure I’ve been feeling the last four days. The last 24 hours the cleanse has felt more mental.
I’ve been thinking about how to shift my attitudes on food and fitness in general. I feel good and I don’t want to lose this. I know I’m gonna consume processed foods again in my life, including junk food, candy and alcohol, but how do I do it without binging and without falling back into my recent, toxic rut?
Also, I’ve been thinking about health in my relationships, what the mental and emotional part of me needs to be happy to complement the physical parts. My current relationship could use some work if it’s going to be a life-long one